How To Give Your Massage Therapist Feedback

Why It Matters, and How to Advocate for Your Comfort

According to The Healer Within By Roger Jahnke a Doctor of Oriental Medicine

"Those who modify their practice to honor the comfort zone can create miracles. The key is to pay very close attention during the practice as well as afterward"

How to Give Your Massage Therapist Feedback

Massage therapy is one of the few wellness experiences where you are both relaxing and receiving care, yet also required to communicate your needs in the moment. Many clients struggle with this, often staying silent even when something doesn’t feel right.

But the truth is:

Your therapist depends on your feedback. We cannot feel what you feel in your body. We cannot read your mind. We rely on your voice to help guide the session and deliver the changes you came for.

If you want effective bodywork, you must be willing to speak up—even gently. This is not disrespectful; it is essential.

Here’s how to do it safely, clearly, and with confidence.

Why Feedback Matters

First, Your massage therapist cannot sense your internal pain level, emotional comfort, or nervous system response.

We can feel tension or resistance, but only you know:

• when pressure is too much

• when something feels unsafe

• when an area feels vulnerable or off-limits

• when a technique is uncomfortable

• when a sensation feels sharp, pinchy, or wrong

• where your body actually needs attention

• how your system is responding to touch

Feedback is how we adjust the session so you receive the results you’re hoping for—relief, regulation, alignment, calm, or function.

What to Say When Pressure Is Too Much

If the pressure feels painful, overwhelming, or your body begins to tense, tell your therapist immediately. A simple phrase is enough:

• “A little lighter, please.”

• “That feels too intense.”

• “Can we soften the pressure here?”

• “My body is tensing up. Can we adjust?”

A skilled therapist should respond quickly and respectfully.

If the therapist cannot adjust their pressure or doesn’t understand how to work more gently, you can redirect the session safely by saying:

• “Can we switch to a different area?”

• “Hands and feet feel safe.”

• “Let’s work lighter for the rest of the session.”

You are always allowed to change direction—this is your time.

What to Do If You Feel Exposed or Uncomfortable During a Massage

You have absolute control over your level of comfort.

You can request:

• Ask for more draping (draping is a massage term for the cover/sheet/towel that keeps you from being exposed "the art of draping" is how a therapist can fold the cover to address areas needed and fully covering the area

• Ask for the treatment through the sheet

• Ask to add additional clothing

• Ask to avoid certain areas altogether

Massage is not supposed to feel vulnerable or exposed. Make sure you have a trained and licensed professional which usually includes ethics and draping.

If you sense that feeling arise, communicate immediately:

• “Can we keep the sheet over this area?”

• “I’d prefer to stay more covered.”

• “I’d feel more comfortable with extra draping.”

A professional therapist will always honor these requests.

Boundaries Matter (Your Massage Therapist Should Understand That)

Healthy therapeutic boundaries include:

• Listening to your pressure requests

• Stopping immediately if something hurts

• Respecting your privacy and comfort

• Being mindful and mature about draping

• Staying within your stated emotional and physical limits

• Changing the plan if your body reacts unexpectedly

• Checking in if they sense tension, bracing, or discomfort

Your therapist should create an environment where you feel safe, covered, and able to speak freely throughout the session.

If these boundaries are not honored, you are allowed to end the session early—or choose not to return.

As The Client YOU Are Always in Charge of the Massage Session

Massage therapy is a collaborative experience, but ultimately, you are the one in control. Every choice is yours:

Pressure. Pace. Areas treated. Areas avoided. Level of clothing. Draping style. Conversation or quiet.

If something feels off, wrong, harmful, or simply not right for today, say so. Good therapists appreciate this. It makes your results better.

What we, the therapist, are thinking:

Your therapist is not judging you, disappointed in you, or bothered by your requests. We rely on them. We want them. Your feedback is how we provide safe, effective, respectful bodywork.

Advocating for yourself during a massage is not awkward—it’s healthy. Your comfort is the foundation of therapeutic care.

If you ever wonder whether you’re “allowed” to request something, the answer is yes.

Always yes.

HerMedic Blog

As above, so below.

With heart,

Nikki Rae :)

Share what brings you calm: hermedicslc@gmail.com